There is an old saying, “Under the turned-over nest, no single egg can survive.”

Ever since I finally decided to choose CS as my major, I often ask myself: Is it truly a good choice to join a field that is frivolous, turbulent, and impossible to tell the future. Maybe I should have learned medicine, or law, or maybe just followed my parents and went EE. Maybe in that case I won’t need to worry about only being valuable when you are young, endlessly working overtime, or suddenly getting laid off. But of course, every field has its shady downsides, and I just don’t know yet.

The pandemic gave this industry too many “pseudo demands” and “fake prosperity,” and the only thing such industry liked the most is “if I get money now, I will just spend it all now”. So it came with one of the easiest years for finding jobs - last year - when many companies falsely estimated their growth and hired more than they needed. It also gave me unrealistic confidence that I could easily find a job next year.

Then, you all know what happens afterward. I did think that one day, the bubble would burst, and the CS industry would turn into a recession, but I have never felt that it will be “today.” Tech companies are just as short-sighted as I used to be: hire more if earning money, and lay off now if having loss. Sadly, as the bubble burst, they lost too much.

The world might experience another financial crisis. It might need one. There is no construction without destruction.

My parents recently often comfort me: It is not your fault for finding no internship. It is the world’s fault. All I could do was just smiling helplessly, exclaiming about “GGWP,” about “sometimes ever, sometimes never.”

Seems like now I don’t know what to do: when anxiety, disappointment, and upset stack over and over, people might turn out to feel numb. Months ago, I still believed that the best lesson I learned this year would be to be far-sighted, but now living in a world that is becoming more delusive, it seems like all I can do is to proceed without a plan: my plan can’t catch up with this changing world.

All of these are just my random thoughts, inspired by recent news about tech companies’ lay off. Life still continues, and, to be honest, there is no way back.

Am I pissed off? Sort of. But saying it out is better than letting them stay in my head and become worse.

Let’s go, guys. Struggled through this tough year, and hope the future will be better.

覆巢之下，复有完卵？

自打决定学CS开始,我就经常问自己：选择加入这么一个浮躁，动荡，而又无法预见未来的行业是不是对的。或许我应该去学医，去学法，或者顺着家里人的行业去学个强电，或许不用青春饭，或许不用996，或许不用时刻担心被裁。当然，不同行业有不同行业的难处，而我只知道CS罢了。

疫情给这个行业带来了太多的伪需求以及虚假的繁荣 ，而这个浮躁的行业最喜欢做的事情就是稍有些阳光就开始招人–随之而来的就是去年上岸难度无比简单，而这也给我一种不切实际的自信，觉得自己明年也可以轻松上岸。

后来的事情大家也都知道了，我预想过这个行业的泡沫迟早会破，但我没想到就是在今天。Tech厂是这样的: 但凡多赚一点钱就要现在立刻马上多招一些人，赔一点钱就要现在立刻马上裁一批人。他们跟曾经的我一样短视。而疫情带来的泡沫破了，他们赔了不止一点钱。

这个世界或许会再来一次经融危机，也许他也的确需要一个经融危机，正所谓“不破不立”。

我爸妈经常安慰我，说找不到实习不是你的错，这个环境太难了，而我也只能笑一笑，感叹一句时也命也，感叹一句技不如人。

有些不知道该怎么办了，当焦虑，失望与失落堆积的过多，人反而会变得有些麻木。几个月前，我还觉得今年我最大的收获就是学会看的长远，但如今我发现在这个迷幻的世界里，我似乎只能随波逐流的“走一步 看一步”。

这只是一些胡思乱想，看了看这两天的新闻有感而发，生活还是要继续，而且 其实也没有什么回头路了。

我破防了吗？或许吧，不过说出来总比让他们在脑子里继续发酵要来得好。

加油吧！大家也要加油！熬过去，希望明年会变好！